TWILIGHT! I met them MY AWESOME TWILIGHT STORY
by EGGplantISHevyROXurSOX
Summary: I met the Twilight Characters. This is how I reacted. I love jacob black and jasper. I have nothing against Edward, except that he's weird. Olive8844 inspired this. Thankies!
1. Chapter 1

**I was on Skype with my friend Olivia, And I was doing this and stuff, so she was all, "Stop it. Don't annoy me.. annoy THEM! *points at you* ... well, you get the point. The actually said: **omg you should do an ff **But that seemed bland... and boring... just like your heart, olive... JK JK!!! Xd hope you enjoy this. I lub you all!!!!!**

**Tim: We don't own Twilight... And Edward is not my Daddy...  
Me: HAHA  
Tim: Stoopid solid figure!!!  
Me: you don't even exist! **

Me and Olivia at the playground....

Olivia: I'm so bored....  
Me: OH MY JACOB BLACK AND JASPER CULLEN!  
Olivia: What?!  
Me: IT'S JACOB BLACK AND JASPER CULLEN  
Olivia: ... They aren't here.

Me: Yuh huh. You ahve to BELIEVE!!!!!!!!  
*points to the cullens and A pomeranian*  
Me: EEWWWWWWW ITS GAY-WARD!!!  
Edward: WHY DOS EVERYONE SAY THAT?!  
Jasper: Haha, they think I'm hot.  
Me: No, no, jusy me. Olivia is more jacob then you  
Edward: Doen't 'Team asper' mean they want YOU and my bella to be together?  
Me: .... I'm just here cuz he is....  
Bella: .... I think you should go see Nessie....  
Me: THE bleep WHO STOLE MY DUGGY?! *hugs pomerainian* MY JACOB  
Jacob: I'm over here....  
Me: OMGJBAJC!!!!  
olivia: WHAT?!  
Me: IT'S... IT'S... *chokes* need... C... P.... R...!!!  
Edward: I'll do it!  
Me: NO...!! NEED, FROM, JACOBBBBB  
Jacob: *poke*  
Me: OMJBAJC I'M ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Jacob: that's what I do, That's what, i, do..... *Crcks fingers*  
Me: OMIGJACOBSLASHJASPER!!!!! YOU ROCKKKK!!!!!!!

**Review=a can of awesomesauce ad my luv XD**


	2. Track and Bambi

**HELLO! Haven't gotten on the computer, school. :\ so yeah. okay. i was walking on the track at PE and my friend A.B. (she wont lemme say her name, though i bet thousands of fanfiction-ers are named.. um, her name) kinda inspired this. :) THANKS, A.B.!!!!!!**

**Disclaimer:**

**Bambi: hey, a butterf~  
Edward: DIE! *eats Bambi*  
Me/A.B. : OMYGOD! WHAT DID YOU DO?!  
Edward: What? I have a diet!  
Me: Can you please, NOT, eat cute deer that are about to be killed peacefully by a gun?!  
Edward: ... um...  
A.B. : You suck, man.**

**Moral (for Edward): DON'T TOUCH MY BAMBI!

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** !¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡I ROCK!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!**

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I was walking the mile as Mrs. Hutzlemen instructed. I walked beside Aliss **(A/N thats what she wants me to say her name is, though that's not her name) **as stared into the forest beside the track  
when...

Me: OMG! ALISS! IT'S A DEER! *points to the trees where a deer was standing*

Deer: *runs away*

Aliss: ... Um, EggPlant? I don't see it...

Me: Well, yeah, that's 'cause It just ran~ OMJBAJC! WHAT THE JACOB WAS THAT????

Aliss: I think it's something SCARY!

*people behind us cower in fear*

Me: *catches a glimpse* oh. my. God. *falls and laughs* IT'S EDWARD!

Randomnese **(A/N That's what I sometimes call people I don't know :) )**: You mean... the CULLEN?!

Me/Aliss: Yes! That is what this girl means! *points at me*

Edward: Oh... School is in Session, today? *is holding Bambi's tail*

Me: Well, DUH~ OMJBAJC!!!! IS THAT THE DEER'S TAIL?????!!!!!

Edward: ...Um....

Aliss: YOU BEAST!

Me: *punches his face* *recoils in pain* YOU FACE IS EFFIN HARD!

Mrs. Hutzleman: Do not trespass onto middle school grounds while It's in Session!

Edward: Oh, I was.. Um, coming to pick up my little sisters! Right, Eggplant, Aliss?

Me: What? I'm not related to you. I'm related to your daughter's boyfriend. ... Because I'm MARRIED TO HIM!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Jacob: No... I'm married to Ness.

Me: JA-JA-JA-JACOOOOOBBBBB!!!!

Jacob: Yeah.....

Me: *flips through my breaking Dawn* *mutters* Oh my Jacob, this book sucked..... AHA! found it. It doesn't say ANYTHING about you and he getting married. So what. Now.

Jacob: ... There is a book???

Edward: Yes, mongrel.

Me: *interrupts* HOTT Mongrel. :)

Edward: *ignores* A woman named Stephanie Meyer created us. And Bella. She made you become a stoopid~ HOTLY STOOPID! **(A/N I think you know who said that part.....)** ~ desperate boy who wanted her.

Aliss: ... I LOVE YOU GUYS!

Me: OMJBAJC! I CAME UP WITH MY OWN PHRASE FOR YOU AND JASPAR!

Jasper: Jasper, not Jaspar...

me: HOLY CRAPPLE! WHERE DID YOU COME FROM???

Jasper: ... The space ship.

Me: WHOAH!!!!!!!! ... Okay, the phrase. Is. OMJBAJC. It means: Oh my Jacob Black and Jasper Cullen. *smiles*

Edward: What about me?

Me: What about you?

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!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡I ROCK!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!¡!

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**Okay, That was TOTALLY inspired by My friend A.B., Twilight, and... Um, i think that's it. The others weren't there cuz i made Alice take them shopping. :)**

**God, I could get grounded fo not leaning my rom. I only just realized/remebered I was supposed to do that...**

**I luv you guys! :)**

**P.S.**

**I have nothing against Edward Cullen. I was team Edward until I saw Robert Pattinson was going to Play Edward. Then I realized how awesomesauce-ish Jacob was.  
I liked Jasper because I read a bunch of JasperSAYSrelax128's stories. I reccomend . Especially "Oops, He Did it Again" If you want to laugh, and "My Black Dahlia" Id you want a rather....  
sad... story. :) Random Guy is hers. Don't steal him. And I thought Robert Pttinson was hot in HP, but... Twilight was stoopid.... Don't get me wrong, I read the series four times (ask Olive8844,  
I pretty much raced her... I read the series 4 times before she read it once... :D) Oh, and Awesomesauce, is totally Xrizz's. **

**Reviews=Fourteen Pieces Of Jacob's Nose... It's SNOTTY! XDD JK**


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